Why romanticise what is not romantic?

Hey guys!

I have been wondering this for quite a while now. I really don’t get it so I am asking you and the authors around to see if I finally get an answer to my question: “Why authors want to romanticise situations that are not romantic at all?”. No but seriously, why.

I have been a reader for quite a while and I have read many books. And I have come to the conclusion that often situations that are not cool are presented as if they were for the sake of a plot-line. Maybe if those situations were treated in a different way they could have been way cooler than they were.

There are two types of truisms that are often make look as romantic that I cannot particularly stand: sickness and abusive relationships. I am not saying that those elements cannot be present in a story as a part of a plot or, be the central part of a plot: they can and when well used can create an amazing story. But often they are not used in a nice way.

Abusive relationships are not ok; I don’t think anyone needs me to tell them that. However, this kind of relationship are often presented in books and the main character, often a naïve girl, deals with it and forgive everything the abuser does. Maybe the abusing is not something big of not even physical; maybe is just the way that the male character has of talking with the female character but it´s there.

I think that by now pretty much everyone has either read or watch the Twilight saga. This is not a case in which the abuse is continued or very big, but seriously, is not cool. Edward is such a jerk towards Bella. I am not saying that when I first read the books I didn’t find them to be highly entertained and that I didn’t like them cause I do like them and I find them to be entertain. What I am saying is that, I don’t like how Edward is treating Bella. Even as a 14-year-old, which was the age that I have when the whole Twilight boom happened, I thought that the way in which Edward treats Bella at first is not good. If I was Bella I would have just walk away and forget about that dude.

Going on with my Twilight example, there is a point in the story in which Jacob becomes extremely possessive with Bella. She is a person, not an object to be hold by either of the male characters. Neither Edward´s, neither Jacob´s behaviours are cool in that way.

I would also like to mention the After series by Anna Tood. Hardin is awful, seriously. I read these books when in my second year of university. At that point of my life I had a much clearer idea of what is right and wrong in a relationship and everything related to this story is just bad. Hardin is continuously abusing and Tessa is always forgiving him. Isn’t this the genral trade that it´s always talked about when they speak about women abused by their significant other? She keeps forgiving him, thinking that he will change for her. I think that there is no need for me to say that I didn’t like these books, especially when talking with one of my friends at that time and she would be telling me how much she liked Hardin because he reminded her of her relationship with the guy she liked at that time.

Of course, in this part of the post I think I need to speak about the ACOTAR trilogy, which shows us what a relationship should be and what it shouldn´t? In one hand, we have Tamlin, he is a real prick and I said it in m review of the first book before I have even lay eyes on the second book. When Feyre is with Tamlin is like she is not worth of anything if she is not pleasing him. And in my opinion, she has a clear stockholm syndrome: I am no-psychologist but I am pretty sure of it.

On the other hand, we have the relationship of Feyre with Rhys. This is relationship goals. First, Rhys knows his feeling towards her but he is not imposing them. For God´s sake he is willing to let her marry someone else! And all that he does, is to make Feyre be confidant again, and to be happy. Of course, the best thing of this relationship is that Feyre does likewise with Rhys. Why? Because is a healthy relationship.

My next example can fit in both categories, is about sickness and an abusive relationship. Have you figure it out yet? Yes, I am talking about Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. When I read the book I liked it, but when I started to think about what I wanted to tell you in this post, this book came to mind so easily. Lou is very nice with everyone and has already had a fair amount of abuse in her life: she was raped, she is mistreated in her family because she is the “silly” sister and her boyfriend is an ass. But that is not enough she meets Will who a quadriplegic man that pretty much reminds her how “stupid” she is every second of the day and is rude towards everything she does.

Seriously I don’t see how be sick could be as “cool” as some authors make it look in their books. Basically, everything good that happens to the character is because of their sickness, and I am pretty sure that sick people don’t think that the good in their lives come from their sickness. I think this vision is kind of simplified and somehow disrespectful with the sick. Plus, the vision that is shown of sickness is completely false.

This kind of also happens in The Fault in Our Stars by John Green in which Hazel only meets August because of their sickness. And actually, it looks like they only fall in love with each other because they are sick. This also happens in Before I die by Jenny Downham with the only difference in this book being that the only sick person here is the main character.

Finally, there is another truism that I don’t like either: death or absent parents in YA, but I will make a special post for it. So, for today I think just mentioning that I don’t like It is just fine.

This are thing that really annoys me and that I don’t get. Why would anyone want to be mistreated or sick? Why authors want to make it look cool?

What do you guys think of this topic?

See you all next Monday.